Beer Nutrition Czar Might Be Newest White House Position

CHICAGO, Ill. — Publisher Bob Skilnik, president of Gambrinus Media, announced his candidacy today for the role of United States “Beer Nutrition Czar.” President Obama might soon be looking for another Czar who can help clarify the innumerable misconceptions about beer’s historic role as a beverage of moderation, hopes Skilnik (although he has little faith that the President won’t be able to resist saying “more taxes” and “beer” in the same sentence). After personally fending off dozens of Internet critics, nutritionists, dieticians, and in one dramatic case, the incorrect information represented in the early version of “The South Beach Diet” that demonized all beers as beer belly makers (later retracted by the book’s author) with the 2003 and 2004 publications of his “Drink Beer, Get Thin Diet” and “The Low-Carb Bartender,” Skilnik thinks it’s high time that the President appoints him as national “Beer Nutrition Czar” and allow him to spread the word of beer’s nutritional benefits.

The 2005 Dietary Guidelines for Americans cite several studies indicating that light-to-moderate alcohol consumption is linked to lower mortality from coronary heart disease, especially among men ages 45 or older and women ages 55 or older. But because of this bureaucratic suppression of such information, Skilnik has also recently written “Does My BUTT Look BIG In This BEER? Nutritional Values Of 2,000 Worldwide Beers” (ISBN-13: 978-0982218204, $10), now available in book stores and Internet book sites. Tired of waiting for the federal alcohol regulatory agency, the Alcohol Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau (TTB) to implement new changes in proposed alcohol nutrition labeling requirements that would tell consumers the nutritional benefits of beer, author and brewer Skilnik has instead compiled an impressive array of brews with their nutritional values. The paperback book can be used by dieters counting calories or carbohydrates or by moderate beer drinkers who simply want to know the nutritional values of what he or she is drinking. Currently, this kind of information is only available on light or low-carbohydrate beers, another Washingtonian mistake.

“Look, I understand that one more Czar in Washington would only add to the notion that there would be more Czars in D.C. than you might have found at a turn-of-a-century Romanoff wedding. I’d therefore be willing instead to be a ‘Roving Beer Nutrition Czar,’ visiting bar after bar – something my wife would attest that I’m quite adroit at – to get the word out on the positive attributes of America’s favorite adult beverage. I’m tired of reading nonsense websites of half-truths or picking up popular diet books that meekly admit that a little beer is good for your heart but then can’t tell you how many calories, carbohydrates or even Weight Watchers POINTS(R) are in beer or read the further mindless dribble of web-based ‘experts’ who claim that beer contains nothing more than ‘empty’ calories. In reality, you can find fat soluble vitamins such as A, D, E, K and water soluble vitamins like C B1, B2, B6, B12, folic acid, biotin and niacin in beer. In addition, beer also contains 21 minerals, no fat, no cholesterol and less sodium per serving than all the honest politicians in all the bars in D.C. on a Friday night.”

“This Friday, June 19, 2009, I will be sending my resume to the White House in consideration for this much-needed political appointment. At the rate that President Obama is appointing Czars, I figure if I get my hat into the ring early enough, I might have a strong chance of securing this spot. My son’s high school jeweled Prom King crown fits me so that should help keep the federal budget somewhat in line with ceremonial accouterments, and if we concentrate on American beers only, we’ll be able to keep jobs from going overseas and make America stronger.”

“Bob Skilnik is a certified brewer and freelance writer. He has been a contributor to the Good Eating Section of the Chicago Tribune and a former columnist for the LowCarb Energy magazine. The Chicago writer has appeared on ABC’s “The View,” ESPN2′s “Cold Pizza,” and Fox News Channel’s “Fox News Live,” preaching the moderate consumption and nutritional aspects of adult beverages. Skilnik is currently working on a similar nutritional research project with wine for fall publication.

“Does My BUTT Look BIG In This BEER? Nutritional Values Of 2,000 Worldwide Beers” is distributed by Ingram Book Group, the world’s largest wholesale distributor of book products. With four distribution centers strategically located throughout the country and the largest inventory in the industry, Ingram provides the fastest delivery available. More info on Skilnik’s efforts to de-fang nutritional misnomers about adult beverages can be found at http://www.MyBeerButt.com .

About Tabitha Berg

ABOUT THE EDITOR: Tabitha Angel Berg is an aspiring author and musician and joined eNewsChannels in Nov. 2006 as an editor and mistress of the content management system. She likes ferrets better than cats and tea better than coffee, and is still waiting on the perfect ebook reading device.

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