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eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G - Chapter 28: Dazed and Amused. High as a kite, that's what I was. More expressively, I was as high as a helium-filled balloon that had just escaped the grasp of a perplexed five-year old kid who was now wondering why gravity wasn't bringing back his rapidly disappearing toy.

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G - Chapter 23: Mouthing Off. Some of my previous odes to self-pleasure are having an influence in the world, starting with the FookMovie production of the 'Free Nude Photos' music video and continuing in this caprice.... Please join us now in celebration of one the greatest contributions America has made to world culture: The Talk Show!

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G - Chapter 20 - Road Trips and Book Reports. I have spent a lot of time in motel rooms. It's not what you think. For my parents, a great vacation was a drive across the nation. So, from an early age, I was in a family that was devoted to the Road Trip. And since we didn't sleep in our car, I learned a bit about Holiday Inns, Best Westerns, Econo-Lodges, Motel 6s, etc.

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G - Chapter 19 - Cheating Death. Death has often come looking for me. The encephalitis. The emissions from the nuclear factory. The DDT. And there were a couple of spectacular automobile crashes. But in addition, I've gone through a whole bunch of near-death experiences, including elementary school, Catholic school, middle school, and high school.

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G - Chapter 18 - 'Vengeful God.' As I was growing up, lots of people spent lots of time trying to get me into a cult. Unfortunately, my family was part of this effort. 'Give it a try,' they said, speaking about one group or another. If it wasn't the Quakers, it was the Baptists. If it wasn't the Baptists, it was the Lutherans. If it wasn't the Lutherans, it was the Catholics. And so on.

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G - Chapter 17 - 'Secret Sex.' When my family moved to Los Angeles, my dad went to work for a drink tank. No, that's not right. Think tank. Yeah, that's what I meant. Not a fake one like the Cato Institute or the Heritage Foundation. Those are ersatz 'research' groups funded by the Koch brothers. Fortunately, my dad worked at an actual think tank.

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G - Chapter 15: Switch On, Switch Off. Having access to the high school auditorium public address system proved to be quite beneficial for the drama students. We attached a switch to the snipped wires so we could use the P.A. when we needed it for play production.

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G - Chapter 14 - Backstage Pass. My parents liked going to the movies, so I was introduced to lots of different kinds of films when I was a kid. (Yes, this is a bit of a flashback -- we'll be doing that from time to time, but don't worry, I'll try to warn you.)

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G - Chapter 13 - Hi, School. You may not believe it, but the powers-that-be at middle school allowed me to move on to high school. Go figure. I believe they said something like 'After in-depth deliberation, it is our judgment that it will be to the reciprocal mutual advantage of all concerned parties that John Scott now move forward with the next stage of his educational pursuits.' Translation: get this guy the hell out of here.

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G - Chapter 12 - Numbers Game. Jeanne was a quiet flirt. Whether she was in a classroom, out on the quad, or in the lunchroom, she didn't say much but people gathered around her anyway. Attractive women can achieve this. It's called the 'moths-to-a-flame' phenomenon.

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G - Chapter 11 - Get on the Bus. A school bus might seem like a personal injury lawyer's wet dream. A long metal tube on wheels. Very high center-of-gravity. No seat belts for the passengers. Often over-crowded, with three kids in seats designed for two people.

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G - Chapter 10 - Boss Angeles. There are two possible openings to this chapter. Here's the straight-to-the-point version: Our family had enough of Fort Richland and moved. And here's the arty-as-hell version: After a few years in the richly rigid and unintentionally Dadaistic city of Richland, the entire family was ready for a saner lifestyle and a more cultured existence. But we didn't get it because we moved to Los Angeles.

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G - Chapter 9 - Playing in the Poison. My dad was speaking on the telephone. Well, mostly he was listening intently on the telephone. From what he was saying, it sure seemed like it was a Very Serious Conversation. Which was no big deal to me as a kid except for one thing: this Very Serious Conversation was about me. I wanted so much to be in on both sides of the discussion but of course could only catch one-half of it.
Secret Sex - A Book Alive Online - Chapter 8

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G - Chapter 8 - Don't Look, Don't Count. The amount of plutonium produced at the plant each day was Pop Secret. Wait, no, that's a microwave corn snack product. It must have been Top Secret. Yeah, that's the term we want. The information was protected by a very official classified classification, something like: super ultra-magnificent big important clandestine hotstuff. Or SUMBICH.

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G - Chapter 7 - In Security. Spooky. That's what it's like to move into a town that hadn't existed until the government put it there. For one thing, the entire place was what might be called utilitarian.

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G. Chapter 6: Mr. Radioactivity is Your Friend. Bulletin: Warning! This is a test of the emergency government -to-citizen communication system. This is only a test. Of course it's only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, you can bet your ass I would still be sitting here typing at you.

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G. Chapter 5 - Beautiful Downtown Nowhere. Some of you have been wondering about my sarcastic attitude towards the center of our nation. It's not so much the geographic center that bugs me as it is the 'middle of the road.' I am quite sarcastic about that.

eNewsChannels BOOK SERIAL: 'Secret Sex, A Book Alive Online,' written and lived by John Scott G. Chapter 2: Open Wide and Say Ahhh. Sex is fun, recovery is not. Unless your doctor orders you to get lots of bed rest and gives you a big wink while saying it. Which didn't happen to me, but I'm just saying.

ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. -- Architect Donald J. Berg, author of 15 books on building and landscaping, has just designed plans for a new expandable garage to help solve home storage problems. The Oakville Garage...