Following the announcement of a patent for the video enhanced gravemarker, Scott G ponders the next phase of cemetery chic. Might there be an iTomb in your future?

Hats off and a twenty-one gun salute to television commercial producer Robert Barrows, recent recipient of U.S. Patent #7089495 for an invention called the Video Enhanced Gravemarker (VEG).

Note: there will be no Veg-o-Matic comments in this story (other than this one, of course).

Basically, the VEG will enable you to broadcast almost anything from your grave. You have to admit that Mr. Barrows is certainly thinking outside the box.

Grave content may be offered for free, with sponsorship, or via pay-per-view. There is room for interactivity as visitors can record their own messages, which gives your graveside monument something in common with blogs or Wikipedia.

If this catches on, it seems as if the element of portability will become an issue. Why not carry around an audio-visual memorial of Uncle Walter? Apple can join the parade with the iTomb.

DRM (Deceased Rights Management)
“The Video Enhanced Gravemarker will have some interesting implications on some major aspects of civilization,” Barrows notes, including free speech, Western culture’s view of death, estate law, storytelling, publishing, DRM (deceased rights management), and history itself.

What if the departed’s final words contain misstatements of fact? Contemporary philosopher P. Barton Marcus suggests “Death, lies and videotape” as a possible title for this piece. Designer Phil Hatten suggests a new social networking site: “MyRestingSpace.com.”

Tourist Destination
“Video tombstones will also make cemeteries fascinating places to visit,” states Barrows. “Ordinary people could become famous after death,” Marcus notes. And the graves of famous folks “would attract hordes of popcorn-munching visitors. Although I guess they do already,” he added.

With an Internet-connected iTomb, we’ll all be able to broadcast from beyond the grave.

What a great time to be alive. I mean dead. No, wait…uh, what a way to go.

Photo illustration by Snook.
[tags]iTomb, Scott G, Communication Nation, advertising, marketing, ad rants, grave marker, video tombstone[/tags]

John Scott G
With a soul as frightening as his face, John Scott G gleefully mocks everything you hold dear. Working with Jimmy Ray and Victoria Sarkozy-Reiss, he operates this “freemium literature” site. Other than noting that Jimmy is “the sultan of snark” and Victoria is “the empress of erotica,” nothing else needs to be said about them because their rap sheets are a matter of public record. In addition to his subversive stories, Mr. G has written songs with Merle Haggard, Danielle Egnew, DJ Insane, Doug Colosio, Scott Joss, Johnny Harmonic, and James Sotelo, among others. Under the pen name ‘Gerald Laurence,’ Mr. G wrote the private eye novel “One Bang-Up Job” (Berkley Books), the self-help book “The Ego Diet” (Oak Tree Press), and the good parts of the screenplay to “Final Approach” (Trimark).