COLUMN: Back in middle and high school, I got into trouble. Numerous times, in fact. Not so much for physical acts of stupidity and fighting, although those happened on occasion, but because of things I wrote. Now you may be thinking I scrawled on the wall or carved phrases onto desktops. I take great offense at that. I am shocked you dare to make such insidious insinuations, because, after all, nothing was ever proven.

Scott G The G-ManWhere was I? Oh, right. Writing. I’m talking about real writing. Some of the essays and themes I wrote caused some consternation among the elders. (Yes, I admit that this was back in the days when even eighth graders were expected to be able to write a few paragraphs.)

In one of those mini essays, I wrote about looking forward to the end of racial prejudice in my lifetime. In another, I mused about the Bible being a collection of campfire stories. I also wrote and delivered a sermon that suggested Jesus could not possibly be the blonde-haired blue-eyed paleface depicted on so many pages of the Sunday School pamphlets. In still another essay, I waxed rhapsodic about the artistic validity of miscegenation. Yes, there were some raised eyebrows. And some censorship.

Yet here we find ourselves at the start of year two-oh-oh-nine, happily celebrating the inauguration of Barack Hussein Obama, which on the surface appears to answer two of my essay ideas. But does it, does it really?

Look, I am as pleased as anyone that the nation has elected a literate and intelligent person to the Presidency. What a change from the last eight bloody, torturous, immoral, illegal, and inept years. But let’s remember a few disconcerting things. . .

The Supreme Court is packed with lowlife scumbags whose “leader” isn’t even bright enough to know how to properly administer the oath of office. The Ku Klux Klan has called on its members to wear black armbands and fly the American flag upside down on inauguration day. Forty percent of Congress belongs to a party that condones torture, rewards war profiteering firms, desires more fiscal breaks for the wealthy, disbelieves science, and is happy that the country provides no healthcare to citizens who need it.

Here’s another sobering thought: 58 million people voted to continue the policies of the most corrupt, most morally bankrupt, and most fiscally irresponsible administration in our country’s history. Fifty-eight million. If only all of those people could lose their jobs, their homes, their cars, their health coverage, their insurance, their savings, their credit, and their retirement.

Yup, these are not charitable thoughts. They are not healing thoughts. They are not high-toned thoughts. And while they are correct thoughts, they are politically incorrect.

So, my apologies to those of you who want only to celebrate this day. Believe me, I join you in shouting with joy. I just can’t help hearing that horrifying refrain in my brain: 58 million, 58 million, 58 million.

[tags]Obama, inauguration, politically incorrect thoughts, Scott G, gman, Supreme Court, Bush, Congress, failed presidency, immoral leadership, fiscal irresponsibility[/tags]

John Scott G
With a soul as frightening as his face, John Scott G gleefully mocks everything you hold dear. Working with Jimmy Ray and Victoria Sarkozy-Reiss, he operates this “freemium literature” site. Other than noting that Jimmy is “the sultan of snark” and Victoria is “the empress of erotica,” nothing else needs to be said about them because their rap sheets are a matter of public record. In addition to his subversive stories, Mr. G has written songs with Merle Haggard, Danielle Egnew, DJ Insane, Doug Colosio, Scott Joss, Johnny Harmonic, and James Sotelo, among others. Under the pen name ‘Gerald Laurence,’ Mr. G wrote the private eye novel “One Bang-Up Job” (Berkley Books), the self-help book “The Ego Diet” (Oak Tree Press), and the good parts of the screenplay to “Final Approach” (Trimark).