How would you like to serve as Honorary Chairman of something called the Business Advisory Council? If you have $500 and a strong stomach, Scott G can tell you who to call.
The voice on the phone was pleasant yet businesslike. The woman identified herself as Diane and said she was working out of United States Representative Tom Cole’s office.
After verifying that I was Scott G and the owner of G-Man Music in Los Angeles, she happily informed me that my sterling contributions to the local economy had resulted in a “National Leadership Award.”
She also told me that my standing in the community was such that I was being invited to serve as an Honorary Chairman of the Business Advisory Council.
When I asked about that, I was assured that there “are no actual duties and this will not take any of your time.” That’s a pretty good deal, don’t you think?
But wait, there’s more.
I would also be able to have my name appear in a full-page ad in the Wall Street Journal, my name and business description would be listed on a special roster of members, and I would be mailed a decorative plaque for my wall as well as a ceremonial gavel for my desk. Plus, I would receive an invitation to “the President’s Dinner in Washington, DC” on a date not yet specified.
But first, would I please listen to a recorded message from Rep. Tom Cole? Sure thing, I thought, because I wanted to know what this was all about.
In a somewhat abrasive tone, Mr. Cole delivered a sneering denunciation of Nancy Pelosi, a strident anti-minimum wage diatribe, and a call for the defeat of democratic principles throughout the land (or perhaps he actually was calling for defeat of Democrats throughout the land).
It’s certainly comforting to know that our elected officials are putting their effort to important things like this instead of wasting their time on such mundane matters as achieving energy independence, protecting us from terrorists, expanding access to affordable healthcare, assuring retirement security for seniors, improving the education system, protecting American jobs, repairing New Orleans, working to avoid climate change, and getting the new Dragon Skin body armor to the troops instead of just to the generals and the President’s secret service staff.
While the guy was droning on, I looked him up on the Internet, fully expecting to find him ensconced in the darkest corners of such know-nothing enclaves as Orange County, California. Surprisingly, he represents the fourth district in Oklahoma. Clearly, this was a national campaign of some kind.
When Diane came back on the line, I expressed surprise about hearing from someone in Oklahoma rather than in my state.
She said this was because of an effort to reach out to Americans all across the country and then quickly reiterated everything I was going to receive for a contribution of $500.
Pause.
Stifling a strong urge to hang up on these con artists, I explained that G-Man Music had already allocated time and energy to creating pro bono work for a number of children’s hospitals and the American Cancer Society and had no budget for political contributions.
“That’s what this is, right, a political contribution?” I asked.
No, no, no, I was assured. The money was just to help the organization that was sponsoring all these fine efforts. And what organization was that? “The National Republican Congressional Committee.”
I most sincerely and regretfully declined to make a contribution of $500.
“We understand,” came the soothing reply. “We also have the same benefits available for $350. Would that be acceptable?”
Pause.
“Well, I would have been pretty stupid to pay five hundred bucks when you’re also taking three-fifty for the same package.” I then asked her a question that strikes at the heart of the matter:
“How low will you go?”
At that point, the call ended rather abruptly. I waited until I heard a dial tone, sighed, and went back to doing some honest work. If you know anyone with low self-esteem and no morals, I still have their toll-free number.
[tags]political con games, Representative Tom Cole, National Republican Congressional Committee, National Leadership Award, Gman, Scott G, fundraising, phone scams[/tags]
