Ted Cruz Campaign Slogans

Senator Shutdown (A.K.A. Ted Cruz) announced his campaign for the U.S. Taliban Party nomination and there has been an explosion of helpful suggestions on the Internet. FOAD is, of course, the most prevalent. But many others are hilarious.

On Monday, March 23, 2015, Ted Cruz (Senator, TX and Calgary) uttered the fateful and frightful words, “I am running for president of the United States.” Immediately, the floodgates opened on social media and out poured an amazing tsunami of aid for the rightwing demagogue.

It seems that millions of Americans want to share in the excitement surrounding the first member of this season’s Republican clown car cavalcade.

Within seconds, #TedCruzCampaignSlogans began trending on Twitter, with a delicious assortment of slogans and hashtags appearing from all parts of the country.

Showing Support

Among the helpful ideas freely provided for the RWNJ candidate to utilize on the campaign trail:

~ RIP Science (1601-2017)

~ For a Whiter Tomorrow

~ Your Racist Uncle’s Favorite Candidate

~ I’m So Anti-Immigration That If I’m Elected I’ll Deport Myself

~ I will not stop until every single American doesn’t have access to affordable healthcare

~ I’ll drag this country right into the 1950s

~ Not only will I regulate your uterus but I’ll recite Dr. Seuss while I’m doing it

~ Because someone has to bring on the Apocalypse

~ Unemployment down, stocks up, fewer uninsured? Time for a change!

Graphics, too

Perhaps the biggest laugh came from a poster reading “Cruz/Palin 2016 — Paid for by the Hillary Clinton for President Committee.”

(TWEET by @jsavite – original artist not known; please let us know who originator is!)

The Daily Show

Jon Stewart on “The Daily Show” had a nice summary of the event when he noted that the audience was comprised of students at Liberty University who were compelled to attend the announcement. Further irony emerged as the captive students were asked by Cruz to send a text message to an unspecified source that would then capture their data for unspecified use of their private information. Because, you know, freedom.

Favorites

I had already been tagging posts about Senator Shutdown with #DreadCruz and the one that’s now on a t-shirt, #YouCruzYouLose, but the torrent of help from the rest of you is so awe-inspiring that I will gladly defer to popular choice.

In closing, allow me to say that my favorite Cruz campaign slogans are some of the scatological ones — but let’s not go there. After all, not everyone wants to get any Santorum on their hands.

 

 

* * *

This opinion piece is Copr. © 2015 by John Scott G and originally published on eNewsChannels.com – a publication of Neotrope® – all commercial and reprint rights reserved. Illustrations by and © JSG. Opinions expressed are solely those of the author.

Read more from JSG at: https://enewschannels.com/author/scott-g-the-g-man/ .

* * *

John Scott G
John Scott G
https://johnscottg.com/
With a soul as frightening as his face, John Scott G gleefully mocks everything you hold dear. Working with Jimmy Ray and Victoria Sarkozy-Reiss, he operates this “freemium literature” site. Other than noting that Jimmy is “the sultan of snark” and Victoria is “the empress of erotica,” nothing else needs to be said about them because their rap sheets are a matter of public record. In addition to his subversive stories, Mr. G has written songs with Merle Haggard, Danielle Egnew, DJ Insane, Doug Colosio, Scott Joss, Johnny Harmonic, and James Sotelo, among others. Under the pen name ‘Gerald Laurence,’ Mr. G wrote the private eye novel “One Bang-Up Job” (Berkley Books), the self-help book “The Ego Diet” (Oak Tree Press), and the good parts of the screenplay to “Final Approach” (Trimark).