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John Scott G
OPINION (by John Scott G): Professional know-nothing Marco Rubio is attractive to people of impaired cognitive reasoning but everyone else recognizes he is unfit for public office. In a surprising turn of events, teachers across America offer helpful advice on behalf of his joke candidacy for president.
OPINION: When rightwing radical Rand Paul added his name to the GOP clown car cavalcade of presidential candidates, racists everywhere rejoiced. But psychiatric experts are worried that Paul's behavior indicates mental instability.
OPINION: (satire) Ted Cruz, short on intellect but long on hatred, seeks to pocket as much money as possible from a failed run for the presidential nomination of the USA's Taliban Party. But a new computerized breakthrough may be his noisy undoing.
OPINION: Senator Shutdown (A.K.A. Ted Cruz) announced his campaign for the U.S. Taliban Party nomination and there has been an explosion of helpful suggestions on the Internet. FOAD is, of course, the most prevalent. But many others are hilarious.
OPINION: Jeb Bush, a millionaire with a rich kid's typical anti-humane views, wants to be the American Taliban party candidate for president. To do so, he must win primary votes from a huge gaggle of stupid people. Two GOP insiders show Jeb what he must do to properly 'stupidize' his already odious views.
OPINION: The clown car carnival is upon us! Yes, the brigade of braggarts hoping for the GOP presidential nomination is swarming across the country (or at least the states with Republican primaries). It appears that many of the buffoons have not yet formulated their campaign slogans. We’re here to help.
Sincerely-Held Beliefs: Religiosity is an odious mistake of candidates from both major political parties
OPINION: Religiosity is an odious mistake of candidates from both major political parties but is especially prevalent among members of the rightwing nutjob cabal. But the religious behave in the same manner as radical extremists by claiming extra-special rights for 'sincerely-held beliefs.' If they want to play by those rules, let's look at my sincerely-held beliefs.
OPINION (by John Scott G): Here at the headquarters of the Anti-Conservative Team, we were fortunate to gain an interview with two of the GOP's behind-the-scenes operatives, men who eschew publicity because of their ties to the Koch brothers' evil empire of anti-Americanism.
OPINION: A large number of people are being used as unpaid 'volunteers' in what might be called The Termination of Life Project and older generations need to apologize to everyone under 18 for creating conditions that will slowly, inexorably eat away at their lives.
OPINION: Every day from now until the GOP's anti-American political convention in the summer of 2016 there will be horrifying speeches delivered by egomaniacs who are hoping to be anointed as the leading rightwing nutjob. What if their bloviating contained statements of truth instead of the standard conservative lies?