Home Authors Posts by John Scott G
John Scott G
What if politicians in the Party of Stupid had to be labeled with the same type of warnings as household appliances? (Note to Conservatives:...
OPINION: There are terms that strike fear into the hearts of decent people. Among these terms are ISIS, ISIL, Daesh, Islamic State, and GOP. Here's how they are connected.
OPINION: Everyone makes New Year's resolutions but nobody keeps them for more than a couple of days. Or twenty-four hours. Or twelve seconds. But it's good to try so let's have a go at it in this special column just for people most in need of a moral imperative: Conservatards.
OPINION: Ho, ho, ho, and a very merry non-denominational celebration of Saturnalia to you! (Note: the traditional name of the giftageddon that takes place during the winter solstice has been changed to reflect the author's self-proclaimed status as an honorary colonel in the War on Christmas.)
OPINION: Ahhh! The aroma is so mouth-watering that you can almost taste the delicacies being created in the kitchen. Thanksgiving dinner is a cherished family tradition full of good times and good food -- but often spoiled by your weird uncle spouting crap he heard on the Fox Fake News channel.
OPINION: We are witnessing a media meltdown in the wretched coverage of the 2016 presidential race. Substance and policy positions are ignored in favor of demagoguery, bombast, stunts, and stupidity -- and America is the worse for it.
OPINION: Donald Trump is a living, breathing paradox: he is a smart and savvy performance artist who's also a moronic and offensive racist. But being a bigoted buffoon is highly prized among Conservatives so he will lead the polls until the GOP splits into two parties, GOPdumb and GOPdumber.
OPINION: Bombastic, braggadocio, bloviating, blaring, blatant, bombastic, repetitious, unconnected thoughts, no thought, errors of syntax, incomplete sentences that sometimes-- And in many other ways, terrifically outstanding is the speechifying of Donald J. Trump. It's the best, believe me. The best. So what would happen if I wrote a column like that?
OPINION: Republican debates 2015 -- Ten leading contenders for the republican presidential nomination took part in a Fox Faux News Channel debate that provided a disturbing view of the turmoil within the party of stupid. Once again, we enlisted the help of two former GOP flacks to comment on the creepy statements of the rightwing nutjob clowns.
OPINION: GOP DEBATE 2015: In afternoon and evening events for the GOP presidential candidates, seventeen anti-Americans bloviated their filth and bile on nationwide TV. The alcohol started flowing during the hour-long “race for the VP nomination.”
OPINION (satire): Let us all give thanks for the passing of unindicted war criminal Richard "Dick" Cheney. Remember: no tears need to be shed when something so vile ceases to exist, so let's all celebrate his departure from this mortal dimension.
OPINION: Hillary Clinton's presidential candidacy has to overcome many obstacles. In addition to battling the right-wing nut-jobs in the Treason Party, there are also challenges from progressive people. And then, of course, there's the matter of gender.
Note: Hold off on your rejoicing: Antonin Scalia is still alive. But since he is obviously brain-dead, we present this pre-eulogy. No moment of silence...
OPINION: Americans are fond of claiming that ours is the greatest country on earth. Yet when measuring quality-of-life, education, healthcare, voting rights, equality, and so much more, we aren't even in the top ten nations. So what needs to be done? Plenty.
Show Some Left-Love: Campaigning for president is torturous slog through fiery burrow of abuse and speculation
OPINION: Campaigning for president is a protracted and torturous slog through a fiery burrow of abuse, attacks, speculation, condemnation, vituperation, ignominy, pettiness, lies, false accusations, and humiliation. Bad stuff happens, too.
OPINION: What's the difference between polling and propaganda? Legitimate poll-taking is a research activity in which the current knowledge of the electorate is revealed. Propaganda polling from rightwing organizations emphasizes the mental aberrations of frightened, stunted, and racist simpletons.
OPINION: From Gracie Allen and Will Rogers to Harold Stassen and Ron Paul, the joke candidate for president is a fine tradition in the USA. Carrying the ritual forward are the many entries in the GOP's 2016 clown car cavalcade. People may cringe at the likes of Jindal, Perry, and Carson, but comedians and comedy-writers are giving thanks.
OPINION: With a deficit of intellect and a surfeit of bile, Rick Santorum is scrambling to find enough numbskulls to bankroll another failed run for the presidential nomination of the American Taliban Party. If it weren't for the entertainment value of his snide and sniggering superciliousness, Santorum's main qualification would be that he's a killjoy.
OPINION: Scott Walker, rightwing nutjob governor of the state of Wisconsin, remains in office due to the prodigious amounts of money poured into his campaigns by Charles and David Koch, rightwing nutjob residents of the state of denial, I mean Kansas.
OPINION: In literature and the movies, there is a romantic haze surrounding the silver-tongued con man but the reality is grittier: the bilker filches money from the innocent or unwary. When such a flim-flam man runs for president, the whole country should be alarmed. Meet Mike Huckster.
OPINION (by John Scott G): Professional know-nothing Marco Rubio is attractive to people of impaired cognitive reasoning but everyone else recognizes he is unfit for public office. In a surprising turn of events, teachers across America offer helpful advice on behalf of his joke candidacy for president.
OPINION: When rightwing radical Rand Paul added his name to the GOP clown car cavalcade of presidential candidates, racists everywhere rejoiced. But psychiatric experts are worried that Paul's behavior indicates mental instability.
OPINION: (satire) Ted Cruz, short on intellect but long on hatred, seeks to pocket as much money as possible from a failed run for the presidential nomination of the USA's Taliban Party. But a new computerized breakthrough may be his noisy undoing.
OPINION: Senator Shutdown (A.K.A. Ted Cruz) announced his campaign for the U.S. Taliban Party nomination and there has been an explosion of helpful suggestions on the Internet. FOAD is, of course, the most prevalent. But many others are hilarious.
OPINION: Jeb Bush, a millionaire with a rich kid's typical anti-humane views, wants to be the American Taliban party candidate for president. To do so, he must win primary votes from a huge gaggle of stupid people. Two GOP insiders show Jeb what he must do to properly 'stupidize' his already odious views.
OPINION: The clown car carnival is upon us! Yes, the brigade of braggarts hoping for the GOP presidential nomination is swarming across the country (or at least the states with Republican primaries). It appears that many of the buffoons have not yet formulated their campaign slogans. We’re here to help.
Sincerely-Held Beliefs: Religiosity is an odious mistake of candidates from both major political parties
OPINION: Religiosity is an odious mistake of candidates from both major political parties but is especially prevalent among members of the rightwing nutjob cabal. But the religious behave in the same manner as radical extremists by claiming extra-special rights for 'sincerely-held beliefs.' If they want to play by those rules, let's look at my sincerely-held beliefs.
OPINION (by John Scott G): Here at the headquarters of the Anti-Conservative Team, we were fortunate to gain an interview with two of the GOP's behind-the-scenes operatives, men who eschew publicity because of their ties to the Koch brothers' evil empire of anti-Americanism.
OPINION: A large number of people are being used as unpaid 'volunteers' in what might be called The Termination of Life Project and older generations need to apologize to everyone under 18 for creating conditions that will slowly, inexorably eat away at their lives.
OPINION: Every day from now until the GOP's anti-American political convention in the summer of 2016 there will be horrifying speeches delivered by egomaniacs who are hoping to be anointed as the leading rightwing nutjob. What if their bloviating contained statements of truth instead of the standard conservative lies?
OPINION: The policies, positions, and practices of Conservatives can be immensely helpful to you -- assuming you're a wealthy person or a corporation. But for the vast majority of people, Conservatism is an evil pestilence that leads to pain, disease, starvation, and the breakdown of everything valuable that should accrue to you from living in a civilized society.
OPINION: The conservative cabal is wide-ranging and well-funded. Collaborating with their primary co-conspirators in the GOP, conservatives are working hard to destroy everything good and decent about the United States of America. #GOPvsUSA
OPINION: What do normal, decent people believe? By comparison, what do conservatives believe? As anyone with an I.Q. above 80 knows, it's a matter of fact versus fiction, truth versus lies, reality versus 'cloud-cuckoo-land.' Come with us now as we compare and contrast the understanding of progressives versus the wish-upon-a-black-hole beliefs of conservatives.
OPINION: Walk a mile in someone else's shoes, the proverb states. In other words, have some empathy. All righty then, I will try spending a day as a RWNJDB (rightwing nutjob douchebag) and see how it feels.
OPINION: Freedom comes at a price. People in the USA have the right to be stupid, just as the rest of us have the right to mock them or shun them. But when they form into a know-nothing, obfuscating, and obstructionist political party, the true cost of freedom begins to be experienced.
OPINION (SATIRE): With a shudder in my soul and hand sanitizer in my pocket, I went to interview a couple of operatives in the bowels of the conservative cabal. Er, conservative coven. Um, conservative clan? Just WTH do you call this human debris, anyway?
OPINION: There are many reasons people vote Republican besides stupidity and racism. With so much doubt and confusion swirling around "the moron party," we thought it was a good time to provide this little test. You can try this quick and easy examination for yourself as well as give a copy to close family members, friends, coworkers, neighbors, and that weird uncle who always ruins your family gatherings by spouting rightwing nutjob nonsense he heard on "the Fox News."
OPINION: Are you running for public office in a district full of incredibly dim-witted people? Hello republican candidates! Worried about attracting a large number of moron voters? Not to worry, GOP Outfitters is ready to serve you.
OPINION: After a friend wrote me about seeing a TV show called 'Focus on New Mexico,' we both started wondering if GOP-controlled states have similar programs. Of course they do! Let's take a peek at the outline for one of their offerings.
OPINION: Republicans have long ceased to be the Grand Old Party, if that term ever applied to them, and therefore we are announcing a contest to re-brand republicans with an appropriate moniker.