John Scott G
With a soul as frightening as his face, John Scott G gleefully mocks everything you hold dear. Working with Jimmy Ray and Victoria Sarkozy-Reiss, he operates this “freemium literature” site. Other than noting that Jimmy is “the sultan of snark” and Victoria is “the empress of erotica,” nothing else needs to be said about them because their rap sheets are a matter of public record. In addition to his subversive stories, Mr. G has written songs with Merle Haggard, Danielle Egnew, DJ Insane, Doug Colosio, Scott Joss, Johnny Harmonic, and James Sotelo, among others. Under the pen name ‘Gerald Laurence,’ Mr. G wrote the private eye novel “One Bang-Up Job” (Berkley Books), the self-help book “The Ego Diet” (Oak Tree Press), and the good parts of the screenplay to “Final Approach” (Trimark).
Opinion: GOP Warning Labels
What if politicians in the Party of Stupid had to be labeled with the same type of warnings as household appliances? (Note to Conservatives:...
Opinion: How the GOP is Helping Terrorists
OPINION: There are terms that strike fear into the hearts of decent people. Among these terms are ISIS, ISIL, Daesh, Islamic State, and GOP. Here's how they are connected.
Opinion: GOP New Year’s Resolutions for 2016
OPINION: Everyone makes New Year's resolutions but nobody keeps them for more than a couple of days. Or twenty-four hours. Or twelve seconds. But it's good to try so let's have a go at it in this special column just for people most in need of a moral imperative: Conservatards.
Opinion: GOP Christmas Gifts
OPINION: Ho, ho, ho, and a very merry non-denominational celebration of Saturnalia to you! (Note: the traditional name of the giftageddon that takes place during the winter solstice has been changed to reflect the author's self-proclaimed status as an honorary colonel in the War on Christmas.)
Opinion: No Turkeys with Your Turkey – Conservatives Stuff Fake News Channels with Effluvia
OPINION: Ahhh! The aroma is so mouth-watering that you can almost taste the delicacies being created in the kitchen. Thanksgiving dinner is a cherished family tradition full of good times and good food -- but often spoiled by your weird uncle spouting crap he heard on the Fox Fake News channel.
Opinion: Massive Media Fail Helps GOP While Harming USA
OPINION: We are witnessing a media meltdown in the wretched coverage of the 2016 presidential race. Substance and policy positions are ignored in favor of demagoguery, bombast, stunts, and stupidity -- and America is the worse for it.
Opinion: Trump Pledges to Take Over the Republican Party
OPINION: Donald Trump is a living, breathing paradox: he is a smart and savvy performance artist who's also a moronic and offensive racist. But being a bigoted buffoon is highly prized among Conservatives so he will lead the polls until the GOP splits into two parties, GOPdumb and GOPdumber.
Opinion: If a Columnist Wrote Like Trump Speaks
OPINION: Bombastic, braggadocio, bloviating, blaring, blatant, bombastic, repetitious, unconnected thoughts, no thought, errors of syntax, incomplete sentences that sometimes-- And in many other ways, terrifically outstanding is the speechifying of Donald J. Trump. It's the best, believe me. The best. So what would happen if I wrote a column like that?
Opinion: Fake News Channel Holds Trumpublican Party Debate
OPINION: Republican debates 2015 -- Ten leading contenders for the republican presidential nomination took part in a Fox Faux News Channel debate that provided a disturbing view of the turmoil within the party of stupid. Once again, we enlisted the help of two former GOP flacks to comment on the creepy statements of the rightwing nutjob clowns.
Opinion: GOP Kiddie Kar Karnival – Mr. Trump, see a VP you like?
OPINION: GOP DEBATE 2015: In afternoon and evening events for the GOP presidential candidates, seventeen anti-Americans bloviated their filth and bile on nationwide TV. The alcohol started flowing during the hour-long “race for the VP nomination.”
Opinion: Saying Buh-Bye to Dick ‘Dick’ Cheney
OPINION (satire): Let us all give thanks for the passing of unindicted war criminal Richard "Dick" Cheney. Remember: no tears need to be shed when something so vile ceases to exist, so let's all celebrate his departure from this mortal dimension.
Ready to Settle for Hillary: Is it Time for a Pantsuit President?
OPINION: Hillary Clinton's presidential candidacy has to overcome many obstacles. In addition to battling the right-wing nut-jobs in the Treason Party, there are also challenges from progressive people. And then, of course, there's the matter of gender.
Opinion: Antonin Scalia: An Eternity of Torment
Note: Hold off on your rejoicing: Antonin Scalia is still alive. But since he is obviously brain-dead, we present this pre-eulogy.
No moment of silence...
USA’s To-Do List – Serious Problems Haunt America
OPINION: Americans are fond of claiming that ours is the greatest country on earth. Yet when measuring quality-of-life, education, healthcare, voting rights, equality, and so much more, we aren't even in the top ten nations. So what needs to be done? Plenty.
Show Some Left-Love: Campaigning for president is torturous slog through fiery burrow of abuse and speculation
OPINION: Campaigning for president is a protracted and torturous slog through a fiery burrow of abuse, attacks, speculation, condemnation, vituperation, ignominy, pettiness, lies, false accusations, and humiliation. Bad stuff happens, too.
Opinion: 87.372% of Republicans Don’t Differentiate Between Polling and Propaganda
OPINION: What's the difference between polling and propaganda? Legitimate poll-taking is a research activity in which the current knowledge of the electorate is revealed. Propaganda polling from rightwing organizations emphasizes the mental aberrations of frightened, stunted, and racist simpletons.
GOP Joke Candidates for President – Running on Empty for 2016
OPINION: From Gracie Allen and Will Rogers to Harold Stassen and Ron Paul, the joke candidate for president is a fine tradition in the USA. Carrying the ritual forward are the many entries in the GOP's 2016 clown car cavalcade. People may cringe at the likes of Jindal, Perry, and Carson, but comedians and comedy-writers are giving thanks.
Rick Santorum: Frothy Mixture of Sophistry and Stupidity
OPINION: With a deficit of intellect and a surfeit of bile, Rick Santorum is scrambling to find enough numbskulls to bankroll another failed run for the presidential nomination of the American Taliban Party. If it weren't for the entertainment value of his snide and sniggering superciliousness, Santorum's main qualification would be that he's a killjoy.
Is Scott Walker the Poisonous Seedpod Pet of the Koch Brothers?
OPINION: Scott Walker, rightwing nutjob governor of the state of Wisconsin, remains in office due to the prodigious amounts of money poured into his campaigns by Charles and David Koch, rightwing nutjob residents of the state of denial, I mean Kansas.
The Huckster – When such a flim-flam man runs for president, the whole country should be alarmed
OPINION: In literature and the movies, there is a romantic haze surrounding the silver-tongued con man but the reality is grittier: the bilker filches money from the innocent or unwary. When such a flim-flam man runs for president, the whole country should be alarmed. Meet Mike Huckster.
Little Marco Rubio Gets Advice from America’s Teachers
OPINION (by John Scott G): Professional know-nothing Marco Rubio is attractive to people of impaired cognitive reasoning but everyone else recognizes he is unfit for public office. In a surprising turn of events, teachers across America offer helpful advice on behalf of his joke candidacy for president.
Rand Paul: Deceitful and Deluded or Full-on Crazy? Welcome to the GOP Clown Car Cavalcade
OPINION: When rightwing radical Rand Paul added his name to the GOP clown car cavalcade of presidential candidates, racists everywhere rejoiced. But psychiatric experts are worried that Paul's behavior indicates mental instability.
Ted Cruz: BUZZZZZ! WRONG! New Computerized Breakthrough May Be His Noisy Undoing
OPINION: (satire) Ted Cruz, short on intellect but long on hatred, seeks to pocket as much money as possible from a failed run for the presidential nomination of the USA's Taliban Party. But a new computerized breakthrough may be his noisy undoing.
Ted Cruz Campaign Slogans: Fateful and Frightful Words for a Hashtag Nation
OPINION: Senator Shutdown (A.K.A. Ted Cruz) announced his campaign for the U.S. Taliban Party nomination and there has been an explosion of helpful suggestions on the Internet. FOAD is, of course, the most prevalent. But many others are hilarious.
The Coming Dumbing-Down of Jeb Bush
OPINION: Jeb Bush, a millionaire with a rich kid's typical anti-humane views, wants to be the American Taliban party candidate for president. To do so, he must win primary votes from a huge gaggle of stupid people. Two GOP insiders show Jeb what he must do to properly 'stupidize' his already odious views.
